freepers and hippies and trolls oh my!

Pals

2011-04-07T13:39:00.000-07:00

Apache shares his supper with Melvin.

Melvin

2011-04-07T13:38:00.000-07:00

Melvin plays hard and sleeps hard.

Last Christmas

2011-04-07T13:35:00.000-07:00

The Flamingoes at my Pond on Christmas Day

My new car

2011-04-07T13:34:00.001-07:00

2011-04-07T13:33:00.000-07:00

My new car. I got it in a box of Cracker Jacks.

Muscician

2010-10-11T09:15:00.000-07:00

Ace

2010-03-23T12:53:00.000-07:00

My horse Ace has passed on the better pastures. He was a loyal companion who carried me for many years. He was loved by many and many children have a happy memory of a ride on his back.

Melvin

2010-01-28T13:19:00.000-08:00

I got another dog at Christmas. He is a Chocolate Lab/Terrier mix.

My Back Yard

2009-12-31T16:59:00.000-08:00

My Back Yard this past September.

Home

2009-10-07T06:48:00.000-07:00

I'm in my new home, a small farm near Rogersville, Tennessee. I'm so far out in the Boonies even the Presbyterians handle snakes. I love watching the deer and turkeys and they seem to enjoy watching me.

New Farm

2009-08-20T10:24:00.000-07:00

Here's a picture of the new Farm from the back of the house.

Farm

2009-08-05T07:04:00.000-07:00

I lost the Farm back in June. I was leasing it with an option to buy. The owner quit paying the mortgage payment back last August and didn't think it necessary to tell me. I found out from a friend who read about the foreclosure sale in the newspaper. Now I'm homeless, sleeping on the couch in a friend's basement. The animals are in 3 different places and all my stuff is in 5 different places. The garden was mowed down so no more fresh vegetables.

Turkeys

2009-03-24T10:01:00.000-07:00

This turkeys are out in force this Spring.

Burt

2008-10-14T16:29:00.000-07:00

I took Burt to the creek for a bath. He won't go by himself since the coyotes got the other 3 ducks.

Pizza

2008-08-12T15:52:00.000-07:00

Veggie Pizza made with stuff from my garden.

Time

2008-06-28T07:21:00.000-07:00

Time and I went for a ride. He's becomming a very good horse to ride as he doesn't spook easily and is learning to trust me.

Mourning

2008-05-09T05:51:00.001-07:00

We are mourning our good friend Hubie today. He's in that Great Big Aflac Commercial in the Sky. The coyotes got him last night. Hubie is on the right. Bertie is on the left.

Monday May 5

2008-05-05T11:41:00.000-07:00

Some pictures from the Farm.
Elsbeth napping.

General Bushrod Johnson, Dominecker

Spring Afternoon

2008-04-21T08:16:00.001-07:00

Watercress growing in the creek and Ace, Apache, and Time enjoying the new Spring grass.

Morel mushroom

Spring

2008-04-11T16:27:00.000-07:00

It's been a really pretty spring here in East Tennessee. Hubie and Bertie, the two newest residents of the Deacon Blues Pork Palace, Potables Parlour and Home for Wayward Animals, Women and Viruses, are doing rather well. They discovered the creek and found hours of entertainment chasing their reflections around the car.

The turkeys have figured out it's mating season.

Birds

2008-03-14T13:50:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of birds around here, some of them domestic. Here is a picture of 2 of the ducks that live here, Hubie and Bertie. The turkeys just come by for the cracked corn.

Cows Flee After Seeing McDonald's

2007-12-05T07:52:00.000-08:00

McDonald's? The burger joint? Stampede! Eight cows escaped from a trailer when the rear gate opened as the driver pulled into a McDonald's. It took about two hours to round them up Monday. Run for it Bossy!
"Maybe they were going to ... hop in the freezer, save the middleman," Weber County sheriff's Sgt. Dave Creager said.
Lt. Kevin Burns had another theory: "They didn't like their future." We don't want to become McBeef!
The roundup was called "Operation Hamburger Helper." A nearby resident even hopped on his horse.
Nooooo! The cows must escape!
"I thought my eyes were lying," said Wayne Sanders, who was at a truck stop next door. "I don't know where they came from, but I'd say they'd have to weigh 800 pounds apiece and they were on a pretty good trot."

Hotdoll: The Sex Doll for Dogs

2007-04-24T10:46:00.000-07:00

Is your dog in heat and humping anything it can wrap its horny little legs around? Are you constantly having to pry your promiscuous pooch off the legs of guests, parents and members of your church? Protect your leg from a hump attack by getting Scruffy a Hotdoll. Yes, it's a sex doll for dogs. It's shaped like a dog and it'll allow your tension-filled pet to go to town as much as his little heart desires, humping away until he passes out in exhaustion, leaving a wispy coil of friction-singed dog-fur smoke wafting into the air.
God, I love the Internet. Hit the jump for more hot dog-on-doll action shots. Don't pretend like you don't want to see them.

No More Booty for Old Bastards

2006-11-29T09:11:00.000-08:00

Monona, Wis. (AP) --
No more bare bodies for the old boys. Police on Monday stripped the local chapter of the International Order of Old Bastards of the exotic dancers who have performed at their meetings for decades.
The club, which consists of about 600 members, has met quarterly for at least 40 years, according to a police report. Members must be at least 35 years old, although the average age is mid-60s, said Richard Story, who described himself as the club's newly installed Arch Old Bastard.
Meetings typically draw 200 to 300 members. Story said the group has no charities or social agenda.
"This is for elderly people who just want to have a good time with their peers," Story, a 60-year-old retired engineer and tavern owner, told the Wisconsin State Journal for Wednesday's editions. I don't think he's looking at his peers.
But police showed up at Monday's quarterly meeting at the Eastside Businessman's Association and warned them that they needed an adult entertainment permit to have strippers. The State Journal said police learned about the strippers after one of the paper's reporters started asking about it in June. They've been having strippers for 40 years and the police just now found out? where's Inspector Cleauseau when you need him.
Story told officers the club had three to four strippers ready to perform on Monday. He said the women get naked, dance on a stage and mingle in the aisles, but no contact with them is allowed, the police report said.
Story told police the women are never out of his sight and he is the only one allowed to go into their dressing rooms — for security reasons, the report said. For "security reasons, ey? Riiiight.
When Story told the audience the strippers were canceled, many members left, the report said. Aside from a cynical "thanks" one of them uttered to police on the way out, members left peacefully, the report said. Damned Party Poopers.
A message The Associated Press left for Story Wednesday morning wasn't immediately returned.
Sue Richmond, 54, told the State Journal she supplies the strippers for the Old Bastards through her DeForest business, exotic-dancers.com.
She said she began dancing for the Old Bastards in 1972. She described members as well-behaved, adding that dancers earn $150 each plus tips for dancing from 9 to 11 p.m.
The International Order of Old Bastards began in 1945. The founder was Fred Kibbe, an American soldier stationed in Australia who was inspired by the Australian greeting "Hi, you old bastard."
The order has about 1 million members in 4,600 chapters around the world.

luv animels but doent theenk im culd do this...

2006-10-03T19:20:00.000-07:00

thisn wat ya kall dedicashen...

Cheryl Walker is out of the doghouse. For real. She spent 30 days living in a 4-by-7-foot kennel in the Marion area. She is a member of the local Humane Society's board of volunteers. And her stunt raised more than $8,100 to help finance a new animal shelter.Walker said she's glad to be home. But she said she misses her four-legged kennelmates. Walker added that she was crying when she left the kennel.

gud jawb cheryl! yore muney raysend be putter gud yoos. now, get offn my goddam lawn!!!

sumthin awfulz strykes agayne....

2006-09-22T16:25:00.000-07:00

this wuns a keeper. em bit sik, but em keeper:

bill jorge. el heffe supremo!!!

2006-09-21T20:20:00.000-07:00

reelin an rockin, wenz amerika turnin sayne agayne? frum evolushenz terns french:

I want you to take a look at these two men:

woohoo!!!! he bangs monikas!

woohoo!!! he bangs loras!!!!

You know what I see when I see these two men? I see two men elected by the people of this nation, and I see two men that were neutered by the sore loser opponents of theirs. Bill got in office, and no matter what he did, he was going to come under attack by the right wing hacks in this nation. Now it's Bush's turn, and the same thing is going on. If you remember the rhetoric while Clinton was in office, it was that he was going to bring along a fascist state, and blah blah blah, remember Waco! What have we seen since Bush is in office? The same crap. To you right and left wing hacks that do not have America in mind, but your own political agenda, FARK YOU!
FARK YOU and your selfish selve serving demogoguery. It's time to put it to an end. I could wish that whoever wins next gets support from both parties whenever they have a good idea, but that is wishful thinking. The Lilliputians are playing for power, and they will sink the rest of us into the mud to get it.

I see only one solution left. Get rid of the Republican and Democrat parties. It's time for America to start anew.

Once again for good measure...

Fark you Democraps!
Fark you Rethuglicans!

Thanks for turning this nation into a bunch of saprono voiced sheep turning their stupid eyes to you!

/Mrs. Robinson surrenders.
//For 14 years we've put up with this crap

Evolution Surrenders will be taking up more of my time. This blog will always be my first love though. :)

tyme ta cleen up em ayres

2006-09-19T17:19:00.000-07:00

thisn yeerz ben funkee yallz

but theengs are gettin bak to normlz agayne an shuld be postern more.

doent theenk cb gonna be bak, but oh well. so were were we?

R.I.P. Steve Irwin. You will be sorely missed, but not forgotten

2006-09-04T18:18:00.000-07:00

CAIRNS, Australia - Steve Irwin, the hugely popular Australian television personality and conservationist known as the "Crocodile Hunter," was killed Monday by a stingray while filming off the Great Barrier Reef. He was 44.

Irwin was at Batt Reef, off the remote coast of northeastern Queensland state, shooting a segment for a series called "Ocean's Deadliest" when he swam too close to one of the animals, which have a poisonous barb on their tails, his friend and colleague John Stainton said.

"He came on top of the stingray and the stingray's barb went up and into his chest and put a hole into his heart," said Stainton, who was on board Irwin's boat at the time.

Crew members aboard the boat, Croc One, called emergency services in the nearest city, Cairns, and administered CPR as they rushed the boat to nearby Low Isle to meet a rescue helicopter. Medical staff pronounced Irwin dead when they arrived a short time later, Stainton said

Irwin was famous for his enthusiasm for wildlife and his catchword "Crikey!" in his television program "Crocodile Hunter." First broadcast in Australia in 1992, the program was picked up by the Discovery network, catapulting Irwin to international celebrity.

He rode his image into a feature film, 2002's "The Crocodile Hunters: Collision Course" and developed the wildlife park that his parents opened, Australia Zoo, into a major tourist attraction.

"The world has lost a great wildlife icon, a passionate conservationist and one of the proudest dads on the planet," Stainton told reporters in Cairns. "He died doing what he loved best and left this world in a happy and peaceful state of mind. He would have said, 'Crocs Rule!'"

Prime Minister John Howard, who hand-picked Irwin to attend a gala barbecue to honor President Bush when he visited in 2003, said he was "shocked and distressed at Steve Irwin's sudden, untimely and freakish death."

"It's a huge loss to Australia," Howard told reporters. "He was a wonderful character. He was a passionate environmentalist. He brought joy and entertainment and excitement to millions of people."

Irwin, who made a trademark of hovering dangerously close to untethered crocodiles and leaping on their backs, spoke in rapid-fire bursts with a thick Australian accent and was almost never seen without his uniform of khaki shorts and shirt and heavy boots.

Wild animal expert Jack Hanna, who frequently appears on TV with his subjects, offered praise for Irwin.

"Steve was one of these guys, we thought of him as invincible," Hanna, director emeritus of the Columbus (Ohio) Zoo and Aquarium, told ABC's "Good Morning America" Monday.

"The guy was incredible. His knowledge was incredible," Hanna said. "Some people that are doing this stuff are actors and that type of thing, but Steve was truly a zoologist, so to speak, a person who knew what he was doing. Yes, he did things a lot of people wouldn't do. I think he knew what he was doing."

Irwin's ebullience was infectious and Australian officials sought him out for photo opportunities and to promote Australia internationally.

His public image was dented, however, in 2004 when he caused an uproar by holding his infant son in one arm while feeding large crocodiles inside a zoo pen. Irwin claimed at the time there was no danger to the child, and authorities declined to charge Irwin with violating safety regulations.

Later that year, he was accused of getting too close to penguins, a seal and humpback whales in Antarctica while making a documentary. Irwin denied any wrongdoing, and an Australian Environment Department investigation recommended no action be taken against him.

Stingrays have a serrated, toxin-loaded barb, or spine, on the top of their tail. The barb, which can be up to 10 inches long, flexes if a ray is frightened. Stings usually occur to people when they step on or swim too close to a ray and can be excruciatingly painful but are rarely fatal, said University of Queensland marine neuroscientist Shaun Collin.

Collin said he suspected Irwin died because the barb pierced under his ribcage and directly into his heart.

"It was extraordinarily bad luck. It's not easy to get spined by a stingray and to be killed by one is very rare," Collin said

News of Irwin's death spread quickly, and tributes flowed from all quarters of society.

At Australia Zoo at Beerwah, south Queensland, floral tributes were dropped at the entrance, where a huge fake crocodile gapes. Drivers honked their horns as they passed.

"Steve, from all God's creatures, thank you. Rest in peace," was written on a card with a bouquet of native flowers.

"We're all very shocked. I don't know what the zoo will do without him. He's done so much for us, the environment and it's a big loss," said Paula Kelly, a local resident and volunteer at the zoo, after dropping off a wreath at the gate.

Stainton said Irwin's American-born wife Terri, from Eugene, Ore., had been informed of his death, and had told their daughter Bindi Sue, 8, and son Bob, who will turn 3 in December.

The couple met when she went on vacation in Australia in 1991 and visited Irwin's Australia Zoo; they were married six months later. Sometimes referred to as the "Crocodile Huntress," she costarred on her husband's television show and in his 2002 movie.

foto fownd at fark. kredits dred pirate slasher

ima ponee! wun krikiken ponee!

2006-08-31T20:42:00.000-07:00

now yallz kan maker yore drems kum troo an be yore veree own ponee or lazee chinees guy! grate fore hikin-dikin-or dynomiten. thisn produk iz garanteed to get ya attenshens. hoo sez teh imajenashen is ded? american injunooitee lives on!

soon to mayder china an sold at walmart. go ta leenk alredy.

top 10 kreepiest ads of all time...

2006-08-10T18:43:00.000-07:00

top 10 kreepiest ads of all time...top 10 kreepiest ads of all time...top 10 kreepiest ads of all time...aplie direktly to teh forehed

still wundren how em quiznos ded litter chikens(or whatever they wuz) didn't maker it in em top 10.

wat is goin on withn all theze homeo...oh, homeo pathik remedees latelee? ifn ima want shugar kyoobs, ima go an buy shugar kyoobs. are peples akshualy buyin thesn krap?

Man in Chicken Suit Cries Foul Over Abuse

2006-08-02T09:55:00.000-07:00

Searcy, Ark. (AP) --
To Steven Turnage, it was bad enough to dress up in a chicken suit and stand along a city street in 105-degree heat. Having passers-by shoot bottle rockets at him has him crying foul.
"People don't take this costume seriously," said Turnage, who wears the suit to promote a fast-food restaurant. "They need to understand that there's a human underneath that suit. It's getting to the point where this is really a dangerous situation."
One rocket nearly hit him in the eye and another burned part of his suit. Police have heard Turnage's complaints but haven't issued any citations.
"Obviously it is against city ordinance to shoot fireworks inside the city limits," police spokeswoman Amber Dillon said.
Turnage said that during the two weeks he has worn the chicken suit people have thrown smokeless tobacco cans at him and tossed frozen drinks. After a bottle rocket attack, he called police.
"It's challenging," Turnage said. "You've got to be very dedicated and have a high tolerance for heat. You almost have to have a calling from the Lord to do this type of work." I don't have anything to say. I'm gobsmacked.

Tales From the Butt Bulb Gazette

2006-06-29T05:41:00.000-07:00

MULTAN, Pakistan (Reuters) - Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan, says he woke up last weekend with a glass lightbulb in his anus.
Wednesday night, doctors brought Mohammad's misery to an end after a one-and-a-half hour operation to remove the object.
"Thanks Allah, now I feel comfort. Today, I had my breakfast. I was just drinking water, nothing else," Mohammad, a grey-beared man in his mid-40s, told Reuters from a hospital bed in the southern central city of Multan.
"We had to take it out intact," said Dr. Farrukh Aftab at Nishtar Hospital. "Had it been broken inside, it would be a very very complicated situation."
Mohammad, who is serving a four-year sentence for making liquor, prohibited for Muslims, said he was shocked when he was first told the cause of his discomfort. He swears he didn't know the bulb was there.
"When I woke up I felt a pain in my lower abdomen, but later in hospital, they told me this," Mohammad said.
"I don't know who did this to me. Police or other prisoners."
The doctor treating Mohammad said he'd never encountered anything like it before, and doubted the felon's story that someone had drugged him and inserted the bulb while he was comatose.

Hey, Muck!! The Jehovah's Witnesses Are Coming!!

2006-06-26T15:03:00.000-07:00

Time to break out the pro-blood bank bumper stickers, election paraphernalia and the Christmas lights if you live around Pittsburgh!

The yearly gathering of Witnesses, a Christian faith founded in Pittsburgh 136 years ago, is a huge worship celebration.

I thought they weren't allowed to party?

This year, it has special significance because Witnesses are seeking to get out the word to millions of households that Armageddon, or the end of the world, is imminent. Or, as the invitation says: Deliverance at Hand.

The signs are everywhere, Mr. Hickok said.

World wars have ruled the current generations. Fear is dominant, especially with the rise of terrorism. There is a breakdown in family structure. The magnitude and frequency of earthquakes is growing. There is an increase in pestilence, such as AIDS.

For Witnesses, there is no time like the present to share the message. And their conventions, with record numbers of people, are spreading across the country this summer before being launched around the globe.

There are 6.6 million Jehovah's Witnesses in the world and they believe the time is near when good will trump evil in a final battle that wipes destruction and sickness off the face of Earth and restores it as a Garden of Eden.

Hokay, they were wrong the other seven times. But this time, it's the real deal. Honest!

Each neighborhood, or territory, is mapped out. Blocks become circuits and each is given a full canvassing and then checked off so no Witness goes there again within a year. It's a calibration that's done to prevent repeat evangelism.

Do they have a "Do Not Knock" list? 'Cause I'd love to sign up....

Though this is her first year as a field service volunteer, Mrs. Myers, who is eight months' pregnant, sometimes does 70 hours a month on the streets. She's out Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and, sometimes, Sunday.

Eight months pregnant, and spending 70 hours on her feet per week? That can't be healthy for the sprout....or her. I'm only about six and a half along and I'm being told to take some serious couch time.

For years, the Witnesses have walked streets and stood on corners, quietly evangelizing by chatting about the Bible with their neighbors or passing out their journal, The Watchtower, which is published in Spanish, French, Korean and other languages.

They are rather amusing when you are bombed outta your mind. Much more so than Chick Tracts.

Not that I've ever done anything like that....

I really wish my Dad was still here. He would chase them down the street, offering the latest issue of the local Catholic paper and telling them he would say a rosary for them. I treasure those memories still. (Sniff...)

10 Year Woody Gets Man 400K

2006-06-26T10:02:00.000-07:00

Providence, R.I. (AP) --
A former handyman has won more than $400,000 in a lawsuit over a penile implant that gave him a 10-year erection.
Charles "Chick" Lennon, 68, received the steel and plastic implant in 1996, about two years before Viagra went on the market. The Dura-II is designed to allow impotent men to position the penis upward for sex, then lower it. Reminds me of the sex scene in the Woody Allen movie.
But Lennon could not position his penis downward. He said he could no longer hug people, ride a bike, swim or wear bathing trunks because of the pain and embarrassment. He has become a recluse and is uncomfortable being around his grandchildren, his lawyer said. At least he has somewhere to hang his hat.
In 2004, a jury awarded him $750,000. A judge called that excessive and reduced it to $400,000. An excessive award for an excessive woody. On Friday, the Rhode Island Supreme Court affirmed that award in a ruling that turned on a procedural matter.
"I don't know any man who for any amount of money would want to trade and take my client's life," said Jules D'Alessandro, Lennon's attorney. "He's not a whole person."
A lawyer representing both Dura-II manufacturer Dacomed Corp. and the company's insurer declined to comment. Dacomed maintained that nothing was wrong with the implant.
The implant consists of a series of plastic plates strung together with steel surgical wire, almost like a roll of wrapped coins. Springs press against the plates, creating enough surface tension to simulate an erection, D'Alessandro said. Ya say it looked like a stack of dimes?
Lennon cannot get the implant removed because of health problems, including open-heart surgery, his lawyer said. Impotence drugs could not help Lennon even if he were able to have the device taken out, because tissue had be to removed for it to be implanted.
Dacomed was later acquired by a California company whose sales dropped when Viagra was introduced on the market. The company filed for bankruptcy the following year.

Art gallery loses its head, displays plinth

2006-06-15T10:48:00.000-07:00

LONDON (Reuters) - One of Britain's most prestigious art galleries put a block of slate on display, topped by a small piece of wood, in the mistaken belief it was a work of art. Art to one is junk to another.
The Royal Academy included the chunk of stone and the small bone-shaped wooden stick in its summer exhibition in London.
But the slate was actually a plinth -- a slab on which a pedestal is placed -- and the stick was designed to prop up a sculpture. The sculpture itself -- of a human head -- was nowhere to be seen. Lost head, did they?
"I think the things got separated in the selection process and the selectors presented the plinth as a complete sculpture," the work's artist David Hensel told BBC radio.
The academy explained the error by saying the plinth and the head were sent to the exhibitors separately.
"Given their separate submission, the two parts were judged independently," it said in a statement. "The head was rejected. The base was thought to have merit and accepted. I've got a pile of rocks and sticks in back of the house. Reackon I can get that exhibited?
"The head has been safely stored ready to be collected by the artist," it added. "It is accepted that works may not be displayed in the way that the artist might have intended."

Here's a REAL Golddigger

2006-06-14T12:46:00.000-07:00

A homeowner digging for gold in his front yard said he got "carried away" and ended up with a 60-foot-deep hole, authorities said.
Norm Enrique, 63, began digging 10 days ago after his gold detector reported a positive hit near his front patio. He told authorities he only intended to go down three or four feet. Damn, I KNOW it has to be here somewhere!
Fire officials called to the scene Tuesday found two men that Enrique hired were inside the unreinforced hole, using a bucket and rope to remove dirt.
"We told him, 'You're done,'" said Montclair fire Capt. Rich Baldwin. "It's amazing no one got killed."
Authorities fenced off Enrique's property.
Officials from the state Occupational Safety and Health Administration likely will visit the property Wednesday to determine how to shore up and fill the hole, authorities said. Easy, you put the dirt back in, duh!
Enrique will be required to hire and pay for a licensed engineer, Baldwin said. So it takes an Engineer to determine how to fill up a hole?

"I'll have what Spot is having..."

2006-05-24T09:13:00.000-07:00

LONDON (Reuters) - Britain is living up to its reputation as a nation of dog lovers with many owners feeding their four-legged friends healthier and tastier meals than they serve up for themselves, a survey published Wednesday said.
A study of 1,337 British dog owners found that 18 percent fed their pampered pet pooches a better diet than their own, giving them fresh dishes instead of tinned food. I like fresh food better, too. Why should dogs be any different?
Consequently 21 percent of dogs enjoyed cheese, 15 percent were given fish and 9 percent chomped on vegetables.
More than a quarter of respondents said they would eat the food they bought their dog.
However, the gourmet meals came at a price, the study for Direct Line insurance said. Pet owners pay out 2.3 billion pounds a year on their dogs' dinners and 10 percent admit their pet has got a weight problem.

One-eyed Ace

2006-05-11T09:14:00.000-07:00

Since it looks like Muck-4-Doo has been taken by the Lizard People I'll step in for a minute and give ya'll an up-date on Ace. We went to the first reenactment since he lost his left eye and he did just fine. At first it was a bit hard to hold him to a walk so I let him run. He seemed to be having a great time. We fought the skirmish on Saturday afternoon and I had no problems with him, even when we were riding in a line boot-to-boot with a horse and rider tight on his left side. He knows what's supposed to happen in that situation and expected a horse to be there so he wasn't spooked.
Here's a picture from last Saturday. We'll be at the Battle of Bean's Station near Bean's Station, Tennessee this weekend. Come on out and fight with us.

From the YJCMTSU Files....

2006-04-21T07:16:00.000-07:00

Thank God this one isn't from Arizona or Florida, like all the other nutters out there....

BRAY, Okla. - A man has caused an uproar in this southwestern Oklahoma town by advertising in an unusual manner that he'd like to pay for a virgin to be his bride. A sign that 45-year-old Michael Thelemann posted in his yard Sunday said that he'll pay $1,000 for a virgin bride between the ages of 12 and 24.

Wait, it gets better later on.....

"I feel like I'm living down the street from a pedophile," said neighbor Christy Sternadel. "We want him out of this neighborhood. Who asks for a 12-year-old virgin bride?"

As of Wednesday, no one had taken up Thelemann on his offer, who woulda thunk it? but he had heard several negative comments from neighbors, which he said he didn't understand. He said his grandmother married "a much older man" at age 14.

"I'm just somebody who ~~likes to look at jail bait on the innernet~~ is getting up there in years, and I'm looking for a born-again, God-fearing virgin between the ages of 12 and 24 who can bear me children," said Thelemann, who was divorced in 1989.

Please, dear God, have him be infertile....

"What's the problem? I just think I have some wicked neighbors."

Neighbors asked the Stephens County sheriff's department to stop Thelemann from displaying the sign, but Undersherriff Bob Hill said the sign was gone by the time deputies visited Thelemann's home.

That's because it was stolen, Thelemann said. He put up another sign Wednesday that didn't include the minor ages. The new sign also noted he's not interested in a "pig-worshipping, heathen, white-supremacist wife."

I guess a goat-worshipping black supremacist virgin would still be in luck, then....if you consider any poor female who hooks up with this idjit "lucky".

Gussie

2006-04-18T06:59:00.000-07:00

we had a tragedy at the farm yesterday, Gussie the Goose met with an accident and succumbed to the injuries. I think one of the horses stepped on her. she liked to go out in the pasture and graze with them. she is missed.

Alleged Castrator Had Medical Experience

2006-04-12T14:22:00.000-07:00

Waynesville, N.C. (AP) --
The man at the center of an investigation into castrations at a sadomasochistic "dungeon" spent 23 years working at a Veterans Administration medical center in Kansas, according to federal officials.
Richard Sciara, 61, worked as a physician's assistant at the Colmery-O'Neil VA Medical Center in Topeka, Kan., from February 1976 to June 1999. He did not have a medical license, officials told the Asheville Citizen-Times, because one was not required at the time he started working for the VA.
Investigators believe Sciara and two other men castrated at least six men at a home in rural southern Haywood County. The men are charged with castration without malice, conspiracy and with practicing medicine without a license.
Investigators have said they believe Sciara and the other two men — Michael Mendez, 60, and Danny Carroll Reeves, 49 — were lovers involved in master-slave relationships; at the time of their arrest last week, Sciara was advertising on the Web for more men to add to his "stable of slaves."
District Attorney Michael Bonfoey said Tuesday the state plans to present details of statements the three men made to investigators at a probable cause hearing scheduled for April 12.
The three men are represented by court-appointed lawyers.
___
Information from: The Asheville Citizen-Times,
A good friend of mine came back from vacation to find one of her co-workes, Danny Reeves, had been arrested. She said she knew he was gay but never imagined he would be involved in something like this. The details are not in the news report but were really macbre.

Finally, a Real MAN'S Spa...

2006-03-28T05:37:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I know it's been a while since I posted here. Been busy with my "construction project" ;). But came across this and figured I had to share.

Can't get your man to go to the spa? Try this place....

A family brewery in the Czech Republic has opened the world’s first beer health centre in its cellar. The Chodovar Family brewery in Chodova Plana offers beer baths, beer massages and beer cosmetics.

The cellar has seven huge Victorian style baths where visitors can swim in beer while enjoying a pint poured at a bathside bar.

The Tsar would loooooove that.....especially if he could do it nekkid.

"Beer can treat a range of conditions, particularly skin conditions, and the health centre should appeal to men who are put off by 'posh' traditional spas. I have heard of some places in other countries where people can swim in beer but it's just a gimmick. We believe in the healing properties of beer and we offer the full range of treatments. We are a fully-fledged beer spa," Ananova quoted Jiri Plevka, the owner as saying.

The guests are charged 80 pounds for weekend packages, and can indulge in a range of health treatments including beer wraps, starting at 12 pounds per session.

King of the Pirates

2006-03-10T15:26:00.000-08:00

Arrr, Ace be a Pirate. He's adjusting well to only having one eye.

snafu returnin norml agayne.

2006-02-22T21:55:00.000-08:00

kidz are liverin bak wit me! :)

now gotter finder nyoo plase to live. :(

guesn yaz kan say itn ben buzy. how haff yallz ben?

No, It Wasn't Vice President Cheney

2006-02-17T07:26:00.000-08:00

GOLDEN TOWNSHIP, Michigan (AP) --
A man was shot and injured when his hunting partner mistook his elbow for a squirrel, authorities said. Shouldn't be out terrorizing squirrels anyway!!
Michigan State Police said George Arthur Sikkenga, 64, of Muskegon, Michigan was wounded Sunday morning in Golden Township, in Michigan's west-central Lower Peninsula.
Sikkenga was wearing camouflage clothing except for an orange hat, which he had covered with a hood after sitting down behind a tree, The Muskegon Chronicle reported.
His clothed elbow was all of him that was visible when his friend, Gregory Scott Wood approached from behind the tree and fired his weapon, which the Ludington Daily News described as a .17-caliber rifle.
Sikkenga was transported to a local hospital, where he was treated and released.
Police were investigating the shooting.
Big Eddie's Uncle got an insulated jump-suit with a hood for Christmas. He tired it out on a hunting trip a few weeks ago. He had to answer the call of nature so he unzipped the suit, dropped it down, and did what he had to do. He then pulled it back up, zipped it, and flipped the hood back over his head. That's when he realized he'd pooped in the hood.

Heer we go...

2006-02-11T19:21:00.000-08:00

okay. getin bakr in thesn blogn theeng. wat up!?

weres cb?

bad theengf is now ima got less muney agayne wont be abler get my grill liken im wanted.

are em mooslims still madder danish kartoons?

2006-02-09T13:29:00.000-08:00

Okay. Only because the man is trying to get back in touch with his inner joker

quit em job

2006-02-03T18:37:00.000-08:00

ima quit em nyoo jawb. werkin between 60 an 80 houres a wek aint werth it. wat gud iz makerin lots more muney ifn ya never have time ta spent it? >:(

gimme backn my 40.

2006-01-14T17:45:00.000-08:00

As promised Mark Twain in livin Colour

Wait a damn second, that's not Mark Twain, that's the Clark County Courthouse in Ludowici Georiga. There's been a fracture in the field.... hold on whilst I reverse polarity.

Clemens in his Oxford robes. Autochrome by Alvin Langdon Coburn.
Original at the Mark Twain House, Hartford, Connecticut

"Some day they will have color photography," Mark Twain predicted to a young friend in 1907. In fact, by 1904, Auguste and Louis Lumière had indeed invented the Autochrome method of making color transparencies, which by the time of Mark Twain's prediction, had become readily available and easy to use.

In late 1908, Mark Twain was twice photographed using this method. William Ireland Starr visited him at his home in Redding, Connecticut, but reported on December 20 that "all his photographs (the colored ones) had come to nothing in the developing except one." No color print of even that one has been found. Yet on the very next day, December 21, Mark Twain was successfully photographed in color (and in black-and-white) by twenty-six-year-old Alvin Langdon Coburn (1882-1966), a precocious young star in the growing world of serious photography.
Coburn had earlier met and photographed Mark Twain in March 1905. Now he was invited to visit him at Stormfield, his newly completed home in Redding, Connecticut, along with Archibald Henderson, a young professor of mathematics at the University of North Carolina who was then gathering materials for his Mark Twain, a critical biography that would be published in 1911. Mark Twain's secretary at the time, Isabel V. Lyon 1863-1958), was herself an avid amateur photographer, and she recorded their visit December 21, both with her camera and in her journal.

More at the link if you're a crazed affecianado of early colour work.

You may now return to your assigned blogging duties.

Need an Imam's Opinion....

2006-01-10T08:20:00.000-08:00

Ok, I am so confused. It's a pretty normal state of affairs for me, granted, but even this one really makes my head hurt.

First I hear this story about some Muslims in Pakistan getting agitated about purchasing an animal for Eid sacrifice with a credit card. Then, I read a story about Muslims in Indonesia being able to purchase an animal at their ATM for the same purpose, in order to donate the beast's meat to the poor.

They will even send you a picture of the animal getting slaughtered, and a thank you note for providing, um, dinner for a needy family.

So, what's a devout Muslim to do? Use plastic, or cold hard cash? And is it ok to use the frequent flyer miles to complete your hajj?

I'm just glad that my holiday dilemmas only involve simple things, like, "Do I put a Chanukah stamp on this card, or a Christmas stamp?".

UPDATE: Looks like the animals in Turkey are fighting back. 1600 people have been injured during the sacrifices, and two fatal heart attacks have been reported.

Psst....Ever Seen Color Photos From World War I??

2006-01-07T10:41:00.000-08:00

Yup, I am not making that up. Check out these color pictures from the Western Front during World War I.

I didn't know that color film was even available back then, but supposedly it has been around, more or less, since 1907.

(hat tip, Instapundit)

And, BTW.....hope you are having a very Happy New Year so far!

fly dam yoo! fly!

2005-12-28T22:01:00.000-08:00

clik em leenk on em title to see em nyoo rekord holder fore werlds longest eer hairs. ifn this guy wuz dropped off a cliff he wuld glide.

merry chrismas

2005-12-24T23:11:00.000-08:00

anuther chrismas! :)

ima wishen yallz hapy festibitees on this grate day. we made itn to anuther! fore ole memrees sake ima postin last yeers chrismas list for seein hooz still arownd an hoos disapeered an notin we got kory o to add to em crew now. :)

frum last yeer:

merry chrismas yalls! postin from wurlds slowest computer

im wish you a mery chrismas
im wish you a mery chrismas
ima wish you a mery chrismas
with a frosty cold beer!

itn chrismas time and ima poster here from fren4doos house with em load of virtual chrismas cards. yalls mostly been good boysn girls and ima hander em out now.
cb
deacon
and halfer:

thanks you guys and gal. you are what makin this blog go. im not speriance the blogworld till 2004 and you three were made it all worthwhile. :)

also speshul blog greetins cards for the followin:
fred pruitt
frederoil
dragon fly
annatopia
shipman
sunshine jim

you were all help in some way or em nother with this blog and ima wish yalls the best. thank you! :)

and also speshul christmas cards the followin list:
.com bibimimi
dadalux zhang fei
frank g. fishgrease
tonid army of steve
allah miss anne thropic
c-sea bc imperial torterer
zenster mats mini
darlene emporor darth misha
seafarious citezan frolick
atrios alaska paul
mojo willow
-b sock pupet of doom
mrs. davis gayest niel
war dog robert crawford
raj gregory wonderwheel
sam seder ptah
david d. rustle
bart elephant man
antiwar celticman
phungus aris katsaris
liberalhawk liberal@large
meg chuck simmins
lc 2112 nobody
petemoon gentle
badanov shell
rwiley phil fraering
jarhead patrioterer
wanda dan darling
lucky cat chew
jik bombarama
bulldog crankbait

and goddamer ima gettin em headache tryin remeber evryone. yalls made this year memeroble. yous know who you are. merry chrismas and click the linker fer the chrismas card cover. thanks .com fer the cover. ;)

merry chrismas alls and to alls a good nite! :)

santarchy hits nyoo zeeland

2005-12-20T08:15:00.000-08:00

thisn wun rites iself:

WELLINGTON (Reuters) - Forty drunken Santas rampaged through central Auckland, stealing from stores and assaulting security guards, the New Zealand Herald reported on Sunday, in a protest against the commercialization of Christmas. Police said some of the Santas threw beer bottles, one tried to climb the mooring rope of a cruise ship and a security guard was punched during the fracas.

no menshen of wat they wuz tryin to do with em raindeers

"They came in, said 'Merry Christmas' and then helped themselves," convenience store staff member Changa Manakynda told the Herald, which reported the Santas also attacked a Christmas tree.

merry chrismas indeed.

The event organizer, Alex Dyer, had warned the antics would only stop when someone was arrested, said the Herald, which linked the incident to "Santarchy."

Santarchy (www.santarchy.com) and online encyclopedia wikipedia (www.wikipedia.org) record protests going back around 10 years in the United States, with participants marking Christmas in anti-commercial manner involving street theater, pranks and public drunkenness. Police said identification was a key issue as they tried to sort out which of the 40 men and women had done what.

it wuz teh guy with em beerd.

"With a number of people dressed in the same outfit, it was difficult for any witnesses to confirm the identity of who was doing what," Senior Sergeant Matt Rogers told Reuters.

problee let em all go.

Man sentenced in meth-from-urine mishap

2005-12-14T11:25:00.000-08:00

There was a scientific method to Daniel Zeiszler's madness when he tried to extract methamphetamine from his own urine, after smoking the illegal street drug last September in his South San Francisco hotel room.
But Zeiszler's experiment went dangerously awry when he spilled some solvent on himself, then lit a cigarette while he contemplated his next move, starting a fire that burned his right hand and arm. Made a real ash of himself.
The hotel was evacuated. Firefighters were summoned. So were hazardous materials experts.
Zeiszler, a 22-year-old employee of a San Francisco recycling depot, landed in jail. If you're gonna be stupid, ya gotta be tough.
Zeiszler, who pleaded no contest to a charge of manufacturing methamphetamine in November, was sentenced Friday to five months in prison -- with credit for time served -- and three years' probation by San Mateo County Superior Court Judge Robert Foiles.
"Did you know you can get methamphetamine from urine?" asked an incredulous Steve Wagstaffe, San Mateo County chief deputy district attorney, in an interview after the sentencing. "The methodology this guy used would work, but it would take bottles and bottles of urine -- not one void of a bladder."
Make that gallons of urine, said William Johnston, Zeiszler's attorney, who described his client's attempt to reclaim excreted methamphetamine from his urine as a "really, really silly" move.
Methamphetamine, a powerful stimulant that produces an intense rush, can also cause convulsions, strokes, stomach cramps, shaking, cardiac arrhythmia and a dangerous rise in body temperature.
"I suspect that, more than anything, Steve was doing this as an intellectual proposition," said Johnston, adding that Zeiszler had no record of prior arrests. "He is a bright, articulate young man who was wasting his life playing around with this stuff. Anybody who would -- for fun -- read a chemistry text should be in school instead of sitting in San Mateo County Jail."
Which is exactly where he intends to be after he is released, Zeiszler told the judge at his sentencing.

Police Hit Man in Genitals With Taser

2005-12-13T11:57:00.000-08:00

Myers Beach, Fla. (AP) --
Police accidentally hit a naked man in the genitals with a Taser after he was caught breaking windows and asking women to touch him, authorities said.
Jeremy J. Miljour, 26, tried to run away when sheriff's deputies approached so one of them shot their Taser, said Cpl. Matt Chitwood. But one of the gun's prongs accidentally hit Miljour's prong genitals and got stuck, Chitwood said. Hey, Bill, looks like I caught a big one!
"The Taser is relatively accurate, but when someone is moving like that, it doesn't matter if you have a Taser, or a pistol. (Officers) can't aim," Chitwood said.
Miljour was treated at a hospital before being taken to the Lee County jail. He was charged with indecent exposure, resisting an officer and criminal damage. Baliff, whack his peepee!

guesn they dont like my cult tempel

2005-12-11T21:57:00.000-08:00

ima getn sykoanalise by howse bildin. jimee karter beware!

[URL=http://drawahouse.com/houses/show.asp?houseID=35333&houseHash=e90254a5f3db55ace2318dac26a7ce42]
[IMG]http://drawahouse.com/houses/2005/12/12/35333_t.gif[/IMG]
Click here to view my house[/URL]

try oyrz owt. :)

hmmm. that aynt werk. go heeer to see it insted:

http://www.drawahouse.com/houses/show.asp?houseID=35333&houseHash=e90254a5f3db55ace2318dac26a7ce42

How animals are getting politicians' goats

2005-12-06T05:58:00.000-08:00

By Ashley PowersTribune Newspapers: Los Angeles TimesPublished December 4, 2005
ANZA, Calif. -- Opie the goat charmed his way out of the slaughterhouse, but he wasn't as nimble in the gruff world of desert politics.The goat was named honorary mayor of this rural Riverside County town after drumming up more money for charity than anybody else. But like any officeholder, he wasn't without enemies.Local business leaders, fearing that Opie made the more than 5,000 townsfolk look like yokels, decided he had to go. Opie's supporters kicked back, and the ensuing fracas divided the growing town."Opie stands for why so many people moved out here," said Nancy Ross, a stylist at Anza Barber & Beauty. "We don't want some human sitting on a throne."With his foray into public service, Opie had joined a select number of four-legged mammals ascending to small-town higher office.Voters have elected goats, donkeys and dogs to honorary mayor positions in recent years--almost exclusively in sparsely populated communities where a barnyard politician can reel in tourist dollars. Near Colorado Springs, the town of Florissant elected a donkey named Birdie in a charity ballot that benefited the Pikes Peak Historical Society."We decided to have a little truth in politics," society President Celinda Kaelin said. "We would only have jackasses run."Paco Bell, the current mayor, won a second term in 2004 after one opponent got sick, another didn't show, and a third, a llama with pasted-on ears, was booted because it didn't meet the jackass standard.Some folks in Rabbit Hash, Ky., blanched at the election of a dog, Goofy, in 1998, wondering if this speck of a town near the Ohio border would look foolish.But the mixed-breed dog's victory raised at least $9,000--one vote, one dollar--leading a filmmaker to record a documentary, "Rabbit Hash: The Center of the Universe," which screened at a Pennsylvania film festival.Rabbit Hash, whose official population fluctuates between three and five people, revived the race during the last presidential election after Goofy was euthanized, choosing a black Lab named Junior.`Sense of humor down here'"You have to have a sense of humor down here, I guess, to beat everyone else to the punch of making fun of us," said Sue Clare, secretary of the local historical society, which used the second race's proceeds to preserve the town's general store, barn and other buildings.Like Florissant and Rabbit Hash, Anza is an off-the-main-road town, dozens of miles from a Costco or a movie theater with stadium seating.In a way, Opie was Anza's comeback kid, the right goat at the right time.Dan Hurtado, who raises goats for their meat, rescued Opie three years ago, after Opie's mother, a Nubian goat named Satisfaction, abandoned him in the snow.Hurtado's wife, Carol Ann Smith, warmed the 3-pound baby with a blow-dryer and fed him from a bottle.Hurtado named him after Ron Howard's character on the "The Andy Griffith Show."Meanwhile, some residents were rolling their eyes at the annual honorary mayor contest. For nearly three decades, the unincorporated town has awarded the title to the candidate who raised the most money for charity.But some of the human politicians started to act, well, too political. One mayor printed mayoral stationery.
Then Smith heard about Clay Henry III, the third generation of goats to preside over the tiny Texas town of Lajitas near Big Bend National Park.Tourists loved to see the Henrys down Lone Star long-neck beers.A few years ago, Clay Henry III was castrated after he guzzled the wrong man's cerveza. The trial of his accused attacker, Jim Bob Hargrove, on animal cruelty charges ended with a deadlocked jury after Hargrove's attorneys argued that he had been framed.The goat churned misfortune into money for the town's school district, with a Web site that shills T-shirts with his slogan "I Want Beer for Lajitas!"He recently outmaneuvered Bo the Dog and the Cigar Store Indian to win re-election.Clay Henry's story stoked Hurtado's and Smith's ambitions for their 200-pound goat.They took Opie on the fundraising circuit--the feed store, the salon and the casino--netting more than $2,000 to fund a college scholarship at Hamilton High School. The goat's only miscue in the 2003 campaign was at his victory party when the crowd learned his diaper didn't quite work.The goat beat out three men, including the incumbent, Carl Long, who did not return calls seeking comment.Sour grapes"The people who lost to him were not happy campers," Hurtado said.Robyn Garrison, president of the Anza Valley Chamber of Commerce and owner of the local Dairy Queen, fretted that business owners wouldn't locate in Anza if they perceived the town as doltish."If you've got a mayor who's a goat, do you take the place seriously?" she asked.In August 2004, the community had to grapple with a new reality: Because the chamber hadn't sponsored another election, Opie was out of office."Mayor Resigns" was the local paper's headline.Opie seemed to take the news in stride, retiring among chicken coops, horses and fellow goats, Georgia and Firecracker.And the chamber board decided that another community group should take over anointing the town's leader."Maybe we're getting bigger," said Bob Giffin Krieg, a real estate agent and Opie supporter. "Somebody should run a mule so we have a bigger animal.
Four-legged mayors. Some towns are going to the dogs; others have gotten their goats. Here are some examples:
Sunol, Calif. Bosco dog 1981-91
Rabbit Hash, Ky. Goofy dog 1998-2001
Anza, Calif. Opie goat 2003-04
Rabbit Hash, Ky. Junior dog current
Lajitas, Texas Clay Henry III goat current
Abilene, Texas Devlin dog current*
Florissant, Colo. Paco Bell donkey current
*Actual title is "dog mayor"

yoooooohooooo. # wheren are yoo?

2005-12-04T07:59:00.000-08:00

comebak #. we miss ya heere. we gonna kep em seet warm for ya.

postin gonna get scarser

2005-12-01T22:11:00.000-08:00

ima started em sekund jawb this wek, so bloggin timez gonna be er litter scarse. theengs shuld pick upn after this munth. :)

gonna be dedikatin more time to em http://www.evolvedamnyou.blogspot.com/ ta get it goin, an it looken like its off ta em good start. doent plan on droppin this wun tho. this wunz me ferst an moest speshal. thank yoo yallz. :)

skwirlz go fore poochy take owt

2005-12-01T21:47:00.000-08:00

see!!! see!!! thisn wat hapen wen yoo dont sine keyotoe! the skwilrz are now eetin em dawgs!:

Squirrels have bitten to death a stray dog which was barking at them in a Russian park, local media report.

skwirlz bite werse than em barck.

Passers-by were reportedly too late to stop the attack by the black squirrels in a village in the far east, which reportedly lasted about a minute. They are said to have scampered off at the sight of humans, some carrying pieces of flesh.

karniverus skwirls. we doomed dood.

A pine cone shortage may have led the squirrels to seek other food sources, although scientists are sceptical. The attack was reported in parkland in the centre of Lazo, a village in the Maritime Territory, and was witnessed by three local people. A "big" stray dog was nosing about the trees and barking at squirrels hiding in branches overhead when a number of them suddenly descended and attacked, reports say.

goddam gangbangin skwirlz. no piney konez=tuff timez in teh skwirlee hood yallz. itn a skwirl eet dawg werld.

"They literally gutted the dog," local journalist Anastasia Trubitsina told Komsomolskaya Pravda newspaper. "When they saw the men, they scattered in different directions, taking pieces of their kill away with them."

liker paka pieranas.

Mikhail Tiyunov, a scientist in the region, said it was the first he had ever heard of such an attack. While squirrels without sources of protein might attack birds' nests, he said, the idea of them chewing at a dog to death was "absurd". "If it really happened, things must be pretty bad in our forests," he added.

see jorge! see! algore warnt yoo this wuld hapen!

Komosmolskaya Pravda notes that in a previous incident this autumn chipmunks terrorised cats in a part of the territory. A Lazo man who called himself only Mikhalich said there had been "no pine cones at all" in the local forests this year.
"The little beasts are agitated because they have nothing to eat," he said.

no blud for pine conez! we wuz warned wun tyme bowt killer rabits. are em skwirlz jus em beginin?

hi speed donkee chase?

2005-11-29T13:46:00.000-08:00

sum poleese departements need sum modernisation:

From correspondent in Patras, Greece
November 28, 2005

POLICE were involved in a bizarre chase with a gang of thieves who escaped from the scene of the crime on a cart pulled by a donkey. Three thieves, aged between 13 and 15, raced away from the local hospital with a stolen safe tied to their cart.
Police chased the gang through the town's narrow, winding streets for more than an hour. They were unable to overhaul the donkey and cart until it turned into a dead-end street.

guesn they chareeut weels need greesin

belated...

2005-11-24T23:58:00.000-08:00

hope yallz had a good thanxgivin. :)

em day of mournin. sam is ded.

2005-11-22T07:34:00.000-08:00

pore sam is pass away. :(

Santa Barbara - Sam, the dog whose ugliness earned him TV appearances, limousine rides and even a meeting with Donald Trump, has died, the Santa Barbara News-Press reported Tuesday.

The pooch with the hairless body, crooked teeth and sparse tuft of hair atop his knobby head died Friday, just short of his 15th birthday, said his owner, Susie Lockheed. "I don't think there'll ever be another Sam," she said, adding wryly, "Some people would think that's a good thing."

Sam became an international celebrity after winning the ugliest animal contest at the 2003 Sonoma-Marin Fair in California - a victory he twice repeated. The purebred Chinese crested hairless made appearances on TV in Japan, radio in New Zealand and in Britain's Daily Mirror tabloid, stayed in luxury hotels and met Trump on a talk show set. Lockheed marketed his visage on T-shirts, a calendar and even a coffee "ugly mug."

At the time of his death, Sam was scheduled to be filmed for a Discovery Channel series on the world's ugliest species.

Lockheed said she was initially terrified of Sam when she agreed to take him in as a rescue six years ago on a 48-hour trial basis. Although she fell in love with him, his appearance repulsed her then-boyfriend and prompted the man to break up with her.
Later, however, Sam became a matchmaker by bringing together Lockheed and her current beau, who saw a picture of the two on an online dating site. Lockheed said she had Sam euthanized after a veterinarian told her Sam's heart was failing.

thatn musta ben harsh

She said she's felt a little lost ever since, and is sleeping with Sam's favourite toy - a stuffed bear he picked up and carried home. "I have snuggled Sam under my blankets on my bed for six years," said Lockheed, who has three other dogs named TatorTot, TinkerBell and PixieNoodle

bye sam an thanx fore em memrees. we gonna miss ya. pics of sam fore ole memrees sake:

pic

pic

pic

pic

*****updaite!*****

em leenk now has videyo of sam. chek him owt. :)

doent panik

2005-11-21T21:43:00.000-08:00

isn time cachin up with em now?:

HOUSTON - A man from Great Britain has been diagnosed with the human form of mad cow disease, the second documented U.S. case of the illness, the federal Centers for Disease Control said Monday. The man in all likelihood contracted variant Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease in the United Kingdom. But because his symptoms began while he was living in Houston, he will be listed as a U.S. case, as is customary.

wacherd em show on diskuvery or nashional jeografic chanel that sed mad kow take yeers or even dekades to show. are wee seein em start of sumthin?

"Almost certainly, this case represents a continuation of the outbreak that is going on in the United Kingdom," said Lawrence B. Schonberger, a CDC medical epidemiologist. Earlier this year, the man returned to Great Britain, where he is receiving medical treatment for the fatal illness. He lived in Houston four years.

never knyoo hyoosten wuz em popyoolar destinashen for brits. must be em steak an beer theeng.

The disease is contracted by eating the brain or other nervous system tissue of an animal infected with bovine spongiform encephalopathy, more commonly known as mad cow disease. The initial U.S. case involved a woman from Great Britain who was living in Florida. She died last year, Schonberger said. She too was believed to have contracted the disease in Britain.

kep em eye owt on this. culd be jus em beginin. *shudders*

itn down under. wat ya expekt?

2005-11-17T11:32:00.000-08:00

awstralia never wun to be owtdone in em danjerus aminals department is jus added venemus lizards to em fawna katalogs:

Australia is not only home to venomous snakes, spiders and jellyfish, now scientists have discovered that its lizards are venomous too. For instance little bearded dragon lizards that cruise around the suburbs have classic rattlesnake venom, scientists report in the journal Nature.

they so kyoot runnin on em hind legs redy to give ya sum poysen. :)

But the venom is not dangerous to humans, Dr Bryan Fry from the University of Melbourne's Australian Venom Research Unit says, who led the international research team. The lizards do not produce enough venom and what little they do is used to kill prey.

problee hurtz like hell tho.

Dr Fry spent months in the Australian desert and tropics capturing, studying and milking dozens of lizards.

wtf!? milkin teh lizard!? wach it buddy! thisn a familee type blog! >:(

He and his colleagues then studied their toxins, DNA and evolution. The researchers discovered that two common lizard lineages found in Australia, monitor lizards and iguania, have mouth glands that secrete venom toxins. This was surprising as until now scientists had only found two lizard species around the world that produced venom, the gila monster and the Mexican beaded lizard.

our beloverd # gotta chek her shoes all em time maker shure no gila monsters in em. az em tuff plase to live.

Scientists had thought venom was mainly associated with snakes; about 2,500 out of the 3,000 snake species around the world are venomous.

ummm. no. theenk he ment non-venumus.

Dr Fry says he had long questioned the common belief that it was a nasty bacteria that caused rapid swelling and prolonged bleeding after a lizard bite. "This never sat right with me because [the symptoms] happened far too quickly for it to be a bacteria," he said.

"So it got me thinking (!)... and once we started to have a look it turned out that the monitors actually had venom, and it was very similar to the venom you get in the gila monster and beaded lizard that you find in the Mexican and southern US deserts."

But Dr Fry stresses that the venom carried by the lizards is only to capture prey.

"Just because they're carrying small amounts of rattlesnake toxins doesn't mean they're going to be dangerous to humans," he said. "And while the monitor lizards has much better developed glands and are more venomous, they are not dangerous to humans either. If you were a five or 10 gram mouse it would be different, but the venom from a monitor lizard is not going to kill a human being."

The similarity of the venom used by both snakes and lizards also suggests that snakes and lizards are much more closely related than people think, the scientists say. They say that snakes evolved from relatively advanced lizards, rather than having evolved separately.

purdy intrastin. awstraleeya got em onlee venemus mammal to. em plateepus. stay tune as we go serchin for venemus sparrows in em land down under.

Early Morning

2005-11-17T07:28:00.000-08:00

Sunrise last Saturday morning in the mountains of North Carolina about an hour drive from the Pork Palace. It wasn't too cold and the fog had collected in all the hollars and valleys. We were about 4000 feet up.

em publik servise annownsement curtesee thoth

2005-11-14T22:18:00.000-08:00

curtesy sum weerd guy:

All last week I watched as the greatest flame war I've ever seen between two websites occured. It is still going, and things are now escalating to the point where I think someone may get shutdown.

The flamewar is ongoing between Something Awful, and eBaums World. I was a fan of both sights till last week, and now am the fan of only one. Eric Bauman and his eBaums world can suck a fire hydrant through a coffee stirrer for all I care.

What happened was the folks at Something Awful got tired of seeing Eric Bauman steal their work, slap his silly name on it, call it his own, and proceed to make money off of it. And he is making a bundle. They got pissed when he decided to steal their children's books. He has a disclaimer on his site stating that if anyone sees something that belongs to them and want it removed, all they have to do is e-mail and ask, and it will be done. It is complete bullshit. Numerous people have asked, and you either never hear back from Eric Bauman and moderators, or you get slapped back and basically told "nyuck nyuck nyuck". Dont believe it? Look how one person was responded to on this mirror thread from eBaum's forums. The thread, of course, has been removed from Eric Bauman's site.

Something Awful is not the only site he steals from. Wikipedia has a page describing more of Eric Bauman's pirating adventures. Here is an excerpt:

Critics of the site point out that all of the content -- in particular the Flash content -- is taken from other Internet sources, and that Bauman replaces any original mark of authorship with the phrase "hosted by eBaumsworld", decompiling them if necessary. They also claim that Bauman does not have the right to use or profit from the work of others, and point out that Bauman's site draws considerable advertising revenue in large part due to the Flash content on the site.

In response to such criticisms, Bauman has claimed that he believes that most material on the Internet is public domain (which is untrue; according to the Berne Convention for the Protection of Literary and Artistic Works, sufficiently unique works are copyrighted as soon as they are created, unless explicitly released into the public domain) and that he makes a lot of money by making it available in one place. He does not however address the issue of rebranding.

Critics respond that much of the content on Bauman's site, such as the Monkeyball game are copyright, and so clearly are not in the public domain; similarly, rebranded versions of the FenslerFilm GI Joe animations remain on eBaum's as of November 2005, accompanied by a fourteen-month-old Cease-and-Desist letter from Hasbro.

While critics have described Bauman's actions as theft, to date, there is no evidence of a successful legal action against him. Critics point out that the sources for much of the content on the site are small, independent sites which lack the resources to successfully prosecute.

As a result, several people have resorted to using small-scale attempts to discredit Eric Bauman and his practices, such as found on http://www.ebaumsworldsucks.com, a site started after a recent clash between eBaums World and Something Awful united with several other websites. The anti-eBaum song is sung by Neil Cicierega and the video and site itself was designed by AltF4. eBaum's World was accused of stealing content from sites such as Something Awful and Fark, and also posting a malicious code on the front page of eBaum's World that called pages from Something Awful; an illegal act. Many victims of eBaum's theft also claim that eBaum's World ignores them when they asked for their work to be removed.

Eric Bauman is a douchebag. Viacom is threatening to take him to court, but Eric and Neil Bauman are saying they won't budge from stealing.

I saw how this started out, and yes, the Something Awful crew did reply visciously on Eric's forums. But Eric escalated it further by replying with a DDOS attack on Something Awfuls forums. He never did reply to the question of "Why does he keep stealing stuff?" He is also known to steal plenty from Fark, but so far Drew still has a link to his place over there. TotalFarkers have asked why this is, but only Drew knows. It's his website. He can do what he wants with it. As for me, I will never be going to eBaums world again. I have learned too much this week. I have learned that:

Eric Bauman is a thief.
Eric Bauman sucks.
Eric Bauman is a cocksucker.
Eric Bauman's mom is a whore.
Eric Bauman blows his dad.
Eric Bauman gets anal raped by goats.
Eric Bauman hates America.
Eric Bauman steals for a living.

T.O. for you Eric.
I'm sure I'll think of more to say in upcoming posts. :)

As they say...

Developing...

moove over iloominati. ali g is hotten stride.

2005-11-14T10:21:00.000-08:00

ali g bak at it an now em pissen peples off iz gone global:

KAZAKHSTAN'S Foreign Ministry threatened legal action overnight against a British comedian who wins laughs by portraying the central Asian state as a country populated by drunks who enjoy cow-punching as a sport. Sacha Baron Cohen, who portrays a spoof Kazakh television presenter Borat in his Da Ali G Show, has won fame ridiculing Kazakhstan, the world's ninth largest country yet still little known to many in the West, on British, Australian and US channels.

9th larjest? ima lerned sumthin nyoo today.

Cohen appears to have drawn official Kazakh ire after he hosted the annual MTV Europe Music Awards show in Lisbon earlier this month as Borat, who arrived in an Air Kazakh propeller plane controlled by a one-eyed pilot clutching a vodka bottle.

heheheh. he sed lisbon.

"We do not rule out that Mr Cohen is serving someone's political order designed to present Kazakhstan and its people in a derogatory way," Kazakh Foreign Ministry spokesman Yerzhan Ashykbayev said. "We reserve the right to any legal action to prevent new pranks of the kind." He declined to elaborate.

em politikal order? okay thatn it. ima all konspiraseed owt.

Cohen's earlier jokes about the Central Asian state include claims that the people would shoot a dog and then have a party, and that local wine was made from fermented horse urine. "We view Mr Cohen's behaviour at the MTV Europe Music Awards as utterly unacceptable, being a concoction of bad taste and ill manners which is completely incompatible with ethics and civilised behaviour," Mr Ashykbayev said.

iz ali g dayz numberd? thisn guy gonna get em self shot sumday.

kall me broker bety...

2005-11-13T22:55:00.000-08:00

looken like we hadder gud munth:)

My blog is worth $1,693.62.
How much is your blog worth?

thank yoo vets!

2005-11-11T14:30:00.000-08:00

thanks vets for all ya done for our country. hope yall hadder plesant day.

put up em link to em nyoos vidyeo clip. itn fred phelps an crew protestestin em nuther soldiers funeral on veterans day today.

ifn aneewun desides to take a pipe to this mofos hed ima didnt see it.

em day with em kkk

2005-11-08T15:14:00.000-08:00

posted from em nuther blog o mine. :)

Today, I was going to do something I thought I would never do. I attended a KKK rally. My plan was to moon those turds, but plans well laid often do not go as wanted. Here's how it all went down.

Driving there, I knew it was going to be big. As I approached downtown Austin, two helicopters could be seen circling the area. I parked on 5th street near I-35, and made my way down. After a few blocks, I passed an APD bomb squad van, and that was rather un-nerving. I soon saw all the television sattelites, and knew I was just about there. I arrived a few minutes after 1:00, and was blocked, along with everyone else, at the intersection of Caesar Chavez, and Colorado. I could see others were gathered on the bridge facing city hall, but were also blocked, a good 500-1000 feet away from the rally. I tried walking around, but nope, the cops had everything blocked all around. So back I went to Caesar and Colorado. During my walk around I saw a homeless man asking for quarters so he could buy a slingshot to shoot rotten eggs at the klan with. I knew he was full of shit, but gave him a dollar anyways.

The angle the police had as at did not let us get a look at what was going on in front of city hall. This got the crowd moody, but everyone maintained composure. Why weren't the police letting us confront these bastards?

I do have to say these cops were very intimidating to face. They were in full riot gear, with their riot sticks in hand, and each looked as if he were hand picked for the job. Not one runt among them. There's something about those glasses, and the way they just stand motionless and staring back at you that is very un-nerving. The black helmets had a fascist feel to them, but I know these are men just doing their job, and I'm sure there are a number among them that would be standing there beside us if they weren't on duty. Why there were people yelling nasty stuff to them is beyond me. It looked like one older woman dressed all in white was even trying to get herself arrested by constantly pressing herself against a couple of the policemen, and breaking the line. To their credit, the cops she was doing that to remained calm, and she eventually gave up.

I have to say that the Klan are a bunch of pussies. They did their best to remain hidden during their little rally, and the crowd had their best moment when some punk ass skin heads were seen. We all started yelling "Racists Go Home!", but one woman beside me decided she would rather just yell the f-bomb repeatedly in my ear. The good Lord blessed me with patience.

The kkk pussies did not hang around long. In less than an hour, a bullhorn was used to tell us that the kkk had left the premisis. At least, that what I thought I heard. There was a guy running around screaming stuff about child abuse, and how the Klan was un-important, and how dare we ignore child abuse for this.

There were a few with their faces covered that looked like they wanted to start trouble. But they were by far a small minority among those that turned up to thumb their noses, or drop their drawers in my case, against the Klan. The news stated there were about 3,000 demonstrators that showed up for this event, and the number seems about right. It also stated there were a couple of arrests in the very area I was at, but I didn't see this occur. I must have been standing in the wrong spot. Overall, I have to say I was dis-appointed I didn't get to moon the kkk, and am glad I didn't have any messages written on my ass.

jiant nutsack seen streeking in NYC.

2005-11-08T08:05:00.000-08:00

akoy. thisn goin to far. how do parents splainer mister testiklez to em kids? pic at link:

EXCLUSIVE: Hairy Nut Sack Runs the New York Marathon November 06, 2005 @ 3:59 PM

I had always thought the Boston Marathon was the greatest road race in the world, but today I saw my first New York Marathon and I've been proved wrong. Never in the 5 Boston Marathons I've witnessed has there been a giant ball bag running down the road. Had the ball sack been from Kenya he would have undoubtedly won. Size queens in all 5 boroughs rejoice.

ima hate to see watn cumin next.

KKK

2005-11-07T09:42:00.000-08:00

This is the picture I was trying to reference in regards to your KKK story, Muck. It's interesting to me that back in the '80s and '90s whenever I would travel up north people wouldn't believe I was not a member of the KKK nor did I know anyone who was.

Katie

2005-11-05T18:24:00.000-08:00

Katie: October 12, 1990-November4, 2005. You never caught a squirrel, but not for lack of trying. Youare missed.

took sum tests tooday

2005-11-04T14:46:00.000-08:00

yeah tooker sum more dum tests. thisn wat ima lerned:

Which Historical Lunatic Are You?
From the fecund loins of Rum and Monkey.

Are You Damned?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Which Evil Criminal are You?
A Rum and Monkey crime.

Which Annoying B-list Celebrity Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey.

okay. thatn last wun was em final straw. no moren test tooday.

moon the kkk!

2005-11-03T11:22:00.000-08:00

ima gotten my wekend plannd. thisn look like itn goin be fun. anee rekwests for objekts thrown? :)

It's looking like the Klan rally at Austin City Hall on Saturday will have a lunar tone to it.

If you look at www.moon theklan.blogspot.com, you'll discover that some unidentified people are planning on mooning the KKK when it gathers at the south plaza to support Proposition 2. That's the constitutional amendment on the Nov. 8 ballot that would declare marriage to be between only a man and a woman (kinda like divorce).

busted. ima thoth comenter at www.moontheclan.blogspot.com

"What the Klan wants is a photo op complete with angry, yelling citizens to scare conservative voters to the polls," the blog says. "What we are planning to do is get into the background of as many media shots as possible so their hate cannnot be broadcast on the nightly news."

heheh. hey ma! cheker me owt! the wun wiff em glowing cheeks over their

Smart thinking, but anybody who is planning to turn the other cheek on the Klan had better be dainty about it. Roger Wade at the Travis County sheriff's office points out that it's not illegal to moon, as long as you do one of those subtle plumber's butt shots. Just don't spread the wealth, so to speak.

How'd you like to be the cop on duty figuring out which butts to bust? "No. No. No. No. Yes. No. No. No. Yes."

Still, what better way to thumb your, uh, nose at the KKK?

ima get arested ifn im gaver demo

There's a certain amount of irony here. Though the Klan can land the outdoor City Hall space to show up in white hoods to blast a certain kind of marriage, the city probably wouldn't let you use the space if you appeared in a white dress with bridesmaids for a traditional Klan-approved wedding.

"It's for public use," said Jill Maness, the city's building services officer. "If you wanted to have a wedding here, we probably would not reserve it for a wedding. But if it's an event for a rally, a peace rally or a family values rally, we would let you hold your event here."

how bowta gumball rally?

You ever wonder how happily married the Klan guys are? Notice how you never see a calendar called Girls of the KKK? Hey, if you're a fat girl with no teeth, wouldn't you want to walk around under a bedsheet?

kkk biaches looker good in em own modify burka

So I'm glad some people are talking about dropping their Dockers at this event (1 to 3 p.m. Saturday), thus becoming the butt of the joke.

Besides, there's a precedent. In 1993 a group of mooners boarded a bus at the Saxon Pub on South Lamar, then proceeded to the Capitol grounds, where they mooned a Klan rally. But the Saxon Pub mooners didn't get organized as a bloc mooning. You had a butt here, a butt there. It was kind of half-, uh, never mind.

heheh

I would arrange 100 to 150 people like a card section at a football game. That way you could write a different word on each cheek to spell out, say, one of Shakespeare's sonnets, or the lyrics to a Neil Young song, like, say, "Harvest Moon." This would get the idea across that we here in Austin, Texas, don't sit on our butts when meanness marches into town.

sumtimes ima wish my ass wuz bigger

And a humorous gesture might take the edge off. In fact, the '93 mooning did just that. It started with Klan-haters banging their fists in anger on the front of the KKK bus when it showed up.

ima kep my owt on em short bus

But things lightened up when the pants came down. At least briefly.

this outta be fun. ifn any lurkers owt there go to www.moontheklan.blogspot.com fore more detayls, an tips on how notn get arested. :)

ima in mournin. :(

2005-11-03T00:08:00.000-08:00

my ps2 is looker like its kickta buket. wont reed anythin anymore. gotta see ifn im kan exchaje it or sumthin. bye pisatou! :(

also makerin em nyoo blog. will postn wen its goin full geer. still seein wat ima doin wiff it. :)

Missouri Ruffian

2005-10-31T13:42:00.000-08:00

a scary lookin' hombre aint I.

kolder than em witches...

2005-10-31T12:20:00.000-08:00

jus wun more holoween post fore today. pic goodnes at leenk. :)

This witch could probably use an abracada-bra.

haha! hahaha!

Brattleboro, Vt., has been under a spell ever since residents David and Lauren Petrie decorated the lawn of their Guilford Street home with a breast-feeding witch Halloween display a couple of weeks ago. The display features a scarecrow witch with a gourd breast and a green baby witch doll.

no papa tho. goddamer dedbeets.

``I would hope if witches have babies and the witches would have to feed their babies, they would nurse,'' Lauren Petrie said. ``I am also advocating being comfortable with nursing in public.''

itsa nacheral

A photo of the Petrie witch in the Brattleboro Reformer sparked a spate of letters. Kym Goodnow, a mother of four living in West Brattleboro, wrote that she was not ready to explain nursing to her 4-year-old grandson, who spotted the display while they were driving home.

why aint she jus tell em itn a missle?

``I figured eventually we would cross that bridge, but to have to do it now because someone felt they had to shove it in our faces, it's just rude,'' Goodnow told the Herald yesterday. ``Halloween is supposed to be for kids, it's not for you to impose your beliefs on everyone else.''

holoween fore adults biatch! an wiches to! doent impoes yore beleefs on us all!

Sarah Glennon, 42, a mother of three and resident of Brattleboro, wrote to the Reformer in favor of the witch.

``I have a 5-year-old and he saw it and it seemed to me that it was an opportunity for education and awareness,'' Glennon said yesterday. ``If it's making people more aware of the issue, that's great. I thought it was a very clever and creative display.''

talker to him abowt em economee. he needn be aware that to.

The Petries said they were not deterred by the outcry and have no plans to take down the display.

``We are having fun with it,'' David Petrie said. ``My four kids were breast-fed and we believe it is the best way to feed a child.''

doent haff to much fun wiff it david.

hapy holoween! :)

2005-10-31T11:46:00.000-08:00

to layte for thes yeer but ima get thisn fore nex yeers pagan trikotreeters. can order at em leenk:

The Bible Bar is a highly nutritious, all natural nutritional bar made from the seven foods (traditionally referred to as the seven species) that God calls good in the Book of Deuteronomy: wheat, barley, vines (raisins), figs, pomegranates, olive oil, and honey. Just before leading the Israelites into the Promised Land, the LORD describes the land as follows:

“For the LORD your God is bringing you into a good land, a land of wheat and barley, of vines and fig trees and pomegranates, a land of olive oil and honey.” (Deuteronomy 8:7-8)

The Bible Bar bar is unbaked and contains no additives or artificial ingredients. It has a delicious and wholesome fruit and grain flavor with just the right amount of sweetness from raw honey and natural grain syrup.

moses aint did no aditives yo!

The Bible Bar is so nutritious and healthy that it actually represents a complete, well-balanced meal. Each bar is bursting with God-given nutrients: protein, monounsaturated fats, complex carbohydrates, vitamins, minerals, enzymes, phytonutrients, and fiber. But yet, it is so much more than just a health bar. God obviously had some very important reasons for linking these seven foods to the Promised Land. Therefore, when you eat a Bible Bar, you are consuming seven foods that God called good and in a form that is easy and convenient to use.

thees jus sownd to dam tastee. gonna get em wether holoween or not.

A Public Service Announcement From the Jet Set Chick

2005-10-28T12:57:00.000-07:00

Hello, everyone, from the heart of Hurricane Country!

I just got my internet connection here in the new place. I don't know where most things are around here....except for the emergency animal hospital.

Me & the Jet Set Mutts had barely been in Florida for 24 hours. I was unpacking and heard the Tsar tell my older dog, Alexa, to get up and stop puking.

I walked over to where Alexa lay, and had the living hell scared out of me. She was lying in a puddle of vomit, and had lost bladder and bowel control. She was unresponsive and was barely breathing. Alexa had gone into anaphylactic shock. There was no reaction when I called her name, and she looked like she was in a trance.

We loaded her into the back of our car after carrying her down the stairs in a sling we fashioned from a blanket. The Tsar raced to the animal hospital, while I tried to get a reaction, any reaction, from a dog who seemed so lively just minutes before. Alexa stopped breathing at least once during the 10 minute ride.

Alexa is an elderly dog, since her 14th birthday is coming up on Valentine's Day. However, she had been to the vet days before for her pre-flight checkup and was perfectly healthy. I had also just given her one of her favorite chews, and she was happily munching on it just a half hour before she collapsed.

What caused it? According to the emergency vet, it was a component of a preparation I had bought at Petsmart to calm her and Cookie (our other dog) during their flight and the first few days in our new home. One of the major ingredients in it is chamomile.

I had no idea that a herb I grew up with (hell, that's one of the few words I still remember how to say in Slovenian...my grandmother and mother were big fans) could cause a dog to almost die.

Chamomile can cause some severe allergic reactions in dogs that are susceptible to allergies from ragweed, chrysanthemums and hay fever. The emergency vet said that Alexa exhibited all of the classic signs of such a reaction, and that an allergy to chamomile is fairly common in dogs.

Alexa had to spend the night at the dog hospital. She was put on oxygen, had a few IV's with a potassium chaser, blood work that showed her liver function was down, and some other stuff I can't decipher on the bill. The grand total came to just under $600.

Alexa came home the very next day, and if you didn't notice the shaved part on her left front leg where the IV was, you wouldn't be able to tell anything was ever wrong with her. She's a tough girl.

There's no mention of any possible problems with dogs who suffer from allergies on the label of that stuff I bought. It only mentioned that pregnant dogs or dogs with health problems should not use it. Since both of the pups are spayed and checked out just fine, I figured that wouldn't be an issue. She received the recommended dose as stated on the label.

The scary thing is there are quite a few products available for sale for dogs that have chamomile in them. Google the words "canine allergy chamomile", and you will find literally thousands of sites selling chamomile products for dogs that say they will relieve stress, help their skin and fur, and heaven knows what else. Good luck trying to find anything about what possible reaction any of the products might cause.

If you have any of this stuff lying around, please get rid of it. Just because you have used it once or twice safely on your dog, that does not mean that there will not be a bad reaction the next time. I had given Alexa the very same preparation and dose the day before when she went on her flight. Luckily, she had no problems then. If she would have had a similar reaction onboard, I'm not sure she'd still be here.

(Before I forget....thanks a million to the staff of Animal Specialty Hospital in Rockledge for saving the black lab mutt last Saturday. Alexa means the world to me and the Tsar. Now, please excuse me as I go give the Jet Set Mutts a few extra tummy scratches.....)

em dry crak is a happy crak!

2005-10-28T08:12:00.000-07:00

thisn a purdy long article so yore jus gotta go to em leenk. meet em werld werst mascot. mister hapy crak!

phelps update

2005-10-25T10:59:00.000-07:00

kan we giver em teh chair pleese

INDIANAPOLIS -- An Indiana state senator wants to make disorderly conduct a felony if it occurs at military funerals, similar to a proposal being considered in Oklahoma.

Indiana state Senator Brent Steele says he'll propose legislation in response to an anti-gay group's protest at the August 28th funeral for Army Staff Sergeant Jeremy Doyle, who died in Iraq.

Members of the Topeka, Kansas-based Westboro Baptist Church dragged U-S flags on the ground and shouted insults at Doyle's family outside a mortuary in Martinsville, Indina. Church Reverend Fred Phelps contends American soldiers are being killed in Iraq as vengeance from God for protecting a country that harbors gays.

The church is made up mostly of Phelps' children, grandchildren and in-laws.

The group has also shown up at funerals in Oklahoma and state Representative Paul Wesselhoft says he'll offer a bill to prohibit any form of protest within 500 feet of any funeral at a home, mortuary, cemetery, church or other place of worship.

wats yer blog werth?

2005-10-24T10:14:00.000-07:00

guess ima shuldnt plan on retiren soon :(

My blog is worth $564.54.
How much is your blog worth?

kweschen for half

2005-10-22T13:41:00.000-07:00

half haven yoo see the chips em leenk go to? ima tryin find thees an wundrin ifn ya knoew anee plases carryin em?

also. yoo outta em wilmas path?

anuther rascal down. porky not "otay"

2005-10-21T13:04:00.000-07:00

sad to say porky gone now to. :(

MINNEAPOLIS - Gordon Lee, the chubby child actor who played Spanky McFarland's little brother Porky in the "Little Rascals" comedies, has died. He was 71. Lee died Sunday in a Minneapolis nursing home after battling lung and brain cancer, said Janice McClain, his partner of 13 years.

Lee played one of the younger members in the "Our Gang" shorts in the 1930s, appearing in more than 40 of them from 1935 to 1939. The comedies, produced by Hal Roach, became known as "The Little Rascals" when shown on TV in the 1950s.

Among the films Lee appeared in were "Bored of Education," which won the Oscar for best one-reel short subject in 1937; "Our Gang Follies of 1936"; "The Awful Tooth"; and "Roamin' Holiday."

tryinta remeber which wun it wuz were kep droppin em cannon balls off cue in one of em plays

In a 1998 interview with the Star Tribune of Minneapolis, the Texas-born Lee said he was 2 years old when his mother sent his picture to studio executives who were seeking an actor to play McFarland's brother.

"We were on the next train to L.A. and I had a contract within a few days," Lee said. "Fat kid got lucky."

"My memories are not about making movies. We played with our toys and the adults played with theirs (the cameras)," he said.

He and Billie "Buckwheat" Thomas teamed up against older boys Spanky and Alfalfa in many of the comedies. The Porky character is credited with originating the catchphrase "otay."

him an buckweat mader grate teem. wunder ifn it wuz one of em first interrashial buddys themes

In the interview, Lee recalled a warm friendship with his black costar when they were kids and praised their interracial relationship on screen, saying, "Buckwheat played an absolute equal part in the Gang."

Lee told friends his career ended when a growth spurt made him thinner. "They wanted Porky to be a chunky fellow, so they looked for someone else," McClain said.

He was born Eugene Lee in Fort Worth, Texas, in 1933. His adoptive parents began calling him Gordon after Gordon Douglas, who directed many of the films Lee appeared in. He kept the first name as an adult.

Lee was a schoolteacher, living in Colorado for a time. He moved to Minnesota after he retired to be closer to his only son, Douglas, said a friend, Tracy Tolzmann. In recent years, Lee sold autographed photos of himself as Porky, Tolzmann and McClain said.

"Before that he felt like he was forgotten," McClain said. "It really made him feel good about himself."

bye gordon. yore gonna be missed. so now we down to thees:
dickie moore, robert "mickey" blake, shirley jean rickert, jackie cooper, jean darling, sidney "woim" kibrick, and dorothy "echo" deborba.

problee beretta gonna owtlive teh rest. hopen that theeng bowt threes doent come troo. we loss butch an porky, doent needer nuther wun gone.

goin to em movies

2005-10-20T18:07:00.000-07:00

ima got my eye set on em moovie to see nex paycheck. itn call american zion an feecherin owr own db. :)

check it owt heer:

http://www.americanzion.com/

or clik em leenk. also yoo can see em trayler heer

now ima gotta get me popkorn smugglin geer redy. :)

bear chase, pot farm, cop wacked with em wacky weed. jus anuther day in clarkston

2005-10-20T12:22:00.000-07:00

thes wuz just bad all arownd fore evreewun involved

CLARKSTON, Wash. (AP) -- Two people were arrested after police chasing a runaway black bear stumbled into a backyard pot-growing operation. Kim H. Bedwell, 52, and Gladys P. Bedwell, 50, both face charges of manufacturing marijuana and possession of marijuana with intent to deliver.

manyoofactcher of teh pot is em mitey protekted trade sekret

On Wednesday, Asotin County Superior Judge Ray D. Lutes set bail of $250,000 for Kim Bedwell and $100,000 for Gladys Bedwell. They were being held at the Asotin County Jail. According to police reports, a black bear being chased by law enforcement officers jumped a fence Tuesday afternoon and landed in the Bedwells' backyard.

ushualy last step before car jackin ensoos.

During the commotion, Kim Bedwell allegedly tried to stash some marijuana plants under a vehicle in his garage, according to the report.

theres em bear in me backyard. watta ima do? kep him away frum me stash! >:(

After he was spotted by police and told to stop, he allegedly ran out of his garage and tossed a plant over a fence.

ha! thatn fool em!

Clarkston police officer Scott Wohl was pursuing the bear when a large marijuana plant sailed over the fence and landed on him, police said. Deputies jumped the fence and arrested Kim Bedwell, according to the report.

ima pichure chong fantasizen that kinda fayte

Officers searched the Bedwell home and found four bags of marijuana in a refrigerator in the garage, and a grow room, according to the report. Inside the residence, police found two bags of marijuana in the refrigerator.

ima do that wiff coffee

The 300-pound black bear was later captured and killed.

jeebus! he wuznt doin no drugs! >:(

jackasses needer prosekyoot hoo killed bear

***************************************************

jus fownd thes leenk. pore guy

an gal gettin pwn3d!

nuther day nuther kwiz

2005-10-19T10:10:00.000-07:00

yep. em nuther silly test. wat pissens yoo off. test at link. my results?

*looks at the current world's population* You must have a lot of frustration then.

What pisses you off?

Created by ptocheia

aparentlee fownd owt sumthin else bowt myself ima never knyoo

Well, they *are* quite the sexy ladies!

What's your sexual perversion?

Created by ptocheia

David Copperfield to 'magic' girl pregnant

2005-10-18T13:21:00.000-07:00

David Copperfield says he plans to impregnate a girl on stage - without even touching her. What's he gonna do next, walk on water?
Speaking to German magazine Galore, the illusionist rejected the theory that there were only seven different kinds of magic tricks.
He said: "Bull s**t! There is a great deal of new territory to conquer. In my next show I'm going to make a girl pregnant on stage."
He added: "Naturally it will be without sex. Everyone will be happy about it, but I'm not telling you any more."
The magician is currently on tour in Germany with his show, An Intimate Evening of Grand Illusion.
I think this happened to me once. I don't know how she got pregnant.

rspca to man handle chiken chokers

2005-10-18T12:51:00.000-07:00

doent knoe wether to laff or cry abowt thes wun:

THE RSPCA said it was outraged a toy dubbed "choke the chicken" being sold to young children that encourages them to squeeze the dancing chicken's neck until it flaps around.

sounz demented an disturbing. kant imajine kids askin ifn they can go choke em chiken. theenk this is em toy in kweschen

"What next? Burn a cat? Shoot a dog?," the RSPCA's Queensland spokesman Michael Beatty said.
"This so-called toy sends out completely the wrong message to children.

spank em munkee wuz my next gues.

"It's entirely possible that children of that age are likely to turn around and try the same thing on their pet bird or even the cat or dog. "Then they're going to wonder why the animal fights back."

The toy is manufactured by a Taiwanese company, The Dahyang toy Industrial Company Limited, and is widely available in electrical stores across Australia and online through eBay.

werlwide chiken molestin

It is marketed for children over the age of three.
The wording on the side of the box said: "Grab and lift him up by the neck as he dances. "He will squawk and cluck like mad, flapping his wings and feet wildly as if he's gagging and choking."

Mr Beatty said "he would like to think he has a sense of humour" but "this is just plain sick". "The whole concept is grossly irresponsible."

ima waitin fore em kick teh baby dolls to come owt

Jaycar electrical stores was one of the main importers of the toy, but managing director Gary Johnstone said he was "amused and mystified" by the RSPCA's response.
"I've got mixed feelings because the RSPCA are a fair and noble organisation, but I would have thought they would have better things to do like saving real animals from cruelty," Mr Johnstone said. "This is a toy that is used to relieve stress, it's meant to be a bit of a giggle."

allz fun an gaimes till asfixiated chikens becum a common acuranse

Remains of Star Trek's 'Scotty' headed for space

2005-10-17T08:18:00.000-07:00

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Evidently "Star Trek" actor James "Scotty" Doohan took the catchphrase "beam me up" very seriously -- his cremated remains will be launched into space in accord with his last wishes.
Commercial space flight operator Space Services Inc. will launch the late actor's remains into space aboard its Explorers Flight on December 6, a company spokeswoman said on Friday.
She said the remains of more than 120 others will be aboard the flight, including those of an unidentified astronaut and Mareta West, the astrogeologist who determined the site for the first spacecraft landing on the moon.
Space Services spokeswoman Susan Schonfeld declined to identify the astronaut whose cremated remains will be launched into space. She said the name would be announced the day of the launch.
Doohan, who portrayed feisty chief engineer Montgomery "Scotty" Scott on the "Star Trek" television series, died in July at age 85. On the program, when Capt. James Kirk ventured off the spaceship Enterprise and faced peril, he would demand Scotty "beam" his body up to the safety of the ship.
The actual phrase "Beam me up, Scotty," was not used on the show, but it entered pop culture.
To mark the flight into his final frontier, Doohan's family will hold a service for fans on a 60-acre (24-hectare) site near Vandenberg Air Force Base north of Los Angeles the day of the launch to pay tribute to him. Some fans are expected to attend in the formal white suit of a Star Fleet commander.
"I can't think of a more fitting send-off than having some of his fans attend this, his final journey," his widow, Wende Doohan, said in an open invitation to the service.
"Star Trek" creator Gene Roddenberry also had his remains shot into space after his death in 1991. They returned to Earth in 2002, Schonfeld said.
Doohan's cremated remains will be packed into a special tube that is ejected from the rocket and expected to orbit Earth for about 50 to 200 years before plunging into the planet's atmosphere and burning up.
Fans can post tributes to Doohan at the Space Services Web site (http://www.spaceservicesinc.com). Those messages will be digitized, packed with "Scotty" and blasted into space.
"I never wanted to be anything but an Engineer" a quote from the "Star trek, the Next Generation" episode that Scotty appeared in.

times they are a chanjin...but noit much

2005-10-15T22:46:00.000-07:00

doin em fyoo litter chanjes to em blog. jus added googleads. an em nyoos tiker for animal nyoos. espekt em next fyoo day to see sum more chanjes comin. ifn aneeones got sum ideers lemme knoe. theenkin at em end of teh yeer may do sum major chanjes an get this blog an em own domain. lemme knoe ifn yallz theenks it a good ideer, or ifn it aint. yallz input much desired.

is itn to late to abort?

2005-10-13T15:00:00.000-07:00

thisn long but so redikyoolus ima had to post it. talker bowt spoyled brats.

The day after Maria Guevara turned 18, she packed her bags and moved out of her mother's Floral Park home. She had a strained relationship with her father, who she said physically abused her when she was younger -- a charge he denies -- and she said her mother was too strict, setting an early curfew and denying her money for restaurants and fashionable clothes.

akoy pa may or not be em asshole. ma denying her em bare nesitees of fine dinen an lookin like a fashen model.

But after she moved into a friend's basement in Bellerose Terrace in March, Guevara did something her mother didn't see coming: She sued her parents for child support in Nassau Family Court. "I didn't get along with my mother, so I decided to move out and get my own place," said Guevara. "I love my mom, but I wasn't feeling right living there."

Between the ages of 18 and 21, young people fall into a special category in New York state: They're old enough to move out of their parents' house, but young enough to be supported by them in most cases, legal experts said.

thisn wun belong in em speshal catagorie to.

Maria says that's only fair.

*rolls eyes* thisn soun liker exwife4doo long lost sister or sumpthin.

She wants to go to college and is not yet in a position to support herself. But in interviews and court documents, her divorced parents said they should not have to pay the bills for a daughter who will not live by their rules. "It's ironic for a person to act like an adult, live like an adult and yet not want to have the responsibilities of an adult," said Sean Sabeti of Jericho, the attorney who represents Maria's mother, Gina Ubillus of Floral Park. "Imagine how many other 18-year-olds are going to say, 'Wait. I can move out and still get child support.'"

loyyers wet dreem

Maria's case against her father, Marcos Guevara of Astoria, is pending before Support Magistrate Penelope Beck Kahn. Maria's case against her mother was dismissed last month, four months after it was filed. Sabeti said he had asked for the dismissal on the grounds that Ubillus, who does not work, was not in a position to support Maria, while Maria was. Maria retains the right to resubmit the petition.

aint thatn kicker

Maria's lawyer, Jeffrey Trimarchi of Manhattan, declined to comment. Her father's lawyer, Joseph Kasper of Queens, did not return calls seeking comment. A number of cases similar to Maria's have been filed in New York over the years, some decided in favor of the child, others for the parents, experts said. Lewis Silverman, director of the Family Law Clinic at Touro Law Center in Huntington, said he could not remember a case where parents whose rules were considered reasonable were made to pay child support. In one case, parents who were trying to make their pregnant daughter have an abortion had to pay child support because that was deemed unreasonable, Silverman said.

asshats

The strength of a child's arguments depends on the reasons they aren't able to get along with their parents and their ability to live independently, among other things, legal experts said. Eighteen-year-olds who marry, join the military or work full-time are generally not awarded child support, Silverman said. But Maria, who just started her first year at Nassau Community College, argues that her parents should pay for school. She works part-time as a teacher's aide at the John Lewis Childs School in Floral Park, but three hours a day at $12 an hour doesn't pay for her living expenses and tuition, she said. "I'm 18, but I still need support," she said. "I'm going to college. I don't have time to be working full-time. It's hard for me."

werk full-time an go ta kolleje part time like millyens others inkludin yores truly did biatch!

A judge will also look at the reasons for a rift between a child and parent, said Barbara Kopman of Hicksville, an attorney specializing in family law. Maria said she left her father's house at about 13 because he physically abused her, a charge he denied in court documents. She said her mother gave her food and clothing but made her come home by 6 or 7 every night and pay for all nonessentials such as restaurant meals and extra clothing.

!!!

Gina Ubillus, who is still caring for Maria's younger brother, 16, is hurt by the notion that she wasn't a good mother. "I feel betrayed. I did all I could for her and my son," she said. "It's so unfair. Just because she wants her freedom, she's abusing the system."

aclu fatwa in 3...2...1... goddamer spoylt brat. teh way theengs are thees dayz yoo kan bet good muney shes gonna problee win to. hopen thers sumthing she can be proscyoot fore. >:(

do teh mash

2005-10-12T14:23:00.000-07:00

fown em neet litle verchual pumpkin carvin game. just clik em leenk to play. maker shure yoo the sownd on to enchoy teh kachy myoosic. have fun. :)

hmmm over at likwid generashen ima gues im skore okay on em tom crooze sientology ausitin test:

that smell aint teen spirit

2005-10-11T12:34:00.000-07:00

still wantin to theenk thisn gotter be sum kinda joke:

Rocker Marilyn Manson will launch his own perfume next year.

The singer will join a host of stars with their own fragrance including Britney Spears, Jennifer Lopez, Beyonce Knowles, Hilary Duff and Ashanti.

rumor hasn it that loo ferigno next

And he admits to taking some of the inspiration for his currently unnamed scent from the fashion-art collaborations of Salvador Dali and Elsa Schiaparelli.

Manson says, "I'm in the final stages with one of the major companies."

the horsemen approecheth

ima be. wrap arownd yore fingerrrr.....

2005-10-07T10:21:00.000-07:00

fownd this "jem" today. yep. we 1 step closer to soylent greene dayz. pic at lenk.

CHICAGO (AFP) - Everyone said she was a gem. Now, just eight ounces of cremated remains is all it takes to turn your mother into a diamond. In fact, there's enough carbon in those ashes to make about 20 gems. And there will still be several pounds of ashes left over to display on the mantelpiece.

shure ma wuld appreshiate her remains bein use as body decor

So far, nobody's ordered more than 11 diamonds, said Dean VandenBiesen, vice president of operations for LifeGem, which uses super-hot ovens to transform ashes to graphite and then presses the stone into blue and yellow diamonds that retail for anywhere from 2,700 to 20,000 dollars.

silly nobs. $20k? an ma suppliyes teh mateerials? sounz like a ripper to me

"It's not for everyone," VandenBiesen admitted, adding that for those who do chose to immortalize their loved ones in jewelry, the experience is extremely positive.

"its not fore evreewun". translashen = pore folks.

"We have people that approach us who have just experienced a tragedy and they say I can't wait, I'm so excited about this," he said. "In the field of death care, when someone says I'm really excited about this, I think we've achieved what we wanted to do which is change the culture of death."

ima see how this culd be. "me hubby is died but chek owt em nipple rings he leave me! now hez alway neer my heart!"

The success of LifeGem is just one example of a radical shift in the funeral industry, said Mark Musgrove, immediate past president of the National Funeral Directors Association. Americans are moving away from traditional funerals and are seeking instead less somber occasions that reflect the personality of the deceased. They are also looking for alternative ways to remember their loved ones.

aint nuthin nyoo. others had similar ideers to.

While a decline in religiosity has contributed to the shift, Musgrove said it's mainly a reflection of a cultural phenomenon. "Back in the 60's the baby boomers were getting married in scuba gear," he said. "They're getting older and they have the same individualism."

vlad teh impailer wuz an individual

A quick stroll through the exhibition hall of association's annual conference shows just how far the 11-billion dollar US funeral home industry has moved towards "personalization." Jeff Barrette is leaning on a maroon motorcycle, his leather vest and scull and crossbones bandana a striking change from the dark suits of most of his customers.

note to self: stay away frum fyoonerel direktors hoo wear bandanas to werk.

Displayed in his booth are urns made out of the engine cylinders of Harley Davidsons and mounted on stands with epitaphs like "Rider's Last Rest," which doubles as the company's name. "It holds 270 cubic inches -- you could fit a big guy in there," Barrette told a potential customer, before explaining that the urn's carrying case is specially constructed to fit on the back of a bike in case "you want to take your buddy for a ride."

doent krash. shure yore buddy wuldnt want his remains strewn akross i-10. why not maker him into sum triked owt handlebars insted?

Demand for the 1,350 dollar hand-made urns has been slow, Barrette said, but that's to be expected in a niche market.

Memorial videos and websites, however, are a bustling business, said Joe Joachim, president of funeralOne, who has signed up 1,500 funeral homes in the past five months. "Our ultimate goal is creating the ultimate funeral experience," Joachim said. "We want to make this a celebration of life and take it to the next level."

oooooh. ultimit fyoonerel esperiense. kant wayte to try that wun!

FuneralOne offers software that allows funeral homes to help families create videos, burn them onto DVDs and even make personalized brochures and websites. It also offers webcasting services so people who can't make the funeral can watch online.
The two-and-a-half-year-old company has recently partnered with another firm which makes solar-powered video screens that can be mounted on a tombstone and play a 5 to 10 minute tribute.

that sounz kewl

The 7-inch (18 cm) serenity panels will hit the market in January and Vidstone and chief executive officer Sergio Aguirre said he expects to sell up to 100,000 in the first year. "Everyone has a story to tell, and what better way than to share it?" he said.

ummmm. maker em deceased into books?

fiten blog blues

2005-10-05T23:08:00.000-07:00

fownd em litle jem on fiten blog depreshion thanx to mel of mrr. good link. giver em read. :)

itn at em leenk.